Wedding planning is the ultimate test for newly engaged couples. While you’ve probably dealt with moments of high stress together before you got engaged, planning your upcoming nuptials can put a unique strain on your relationship that you may not have anticipated.
High expectations, issues with money and overly opinionated relatives can create the perfect storm for arguments. Truthfully, it’s no wonder that some couples find themselves fighting more than usual as their wedding day approaches.
If you don’t want to be in a constant state of irritability and anxiety with your partner, it’s important that you figure out how to combat wedding stress as a team. Here are a few ways to avoid any pre-wedding spats by taking the stress out of planning your big day.
Get on the Same Page with Your Budget
Be sure to establish a budget with your partner well in advance of visiting wedding venues, picking floral arrangements or shopping for bridesmaid dresses. The last thing you want is to fall in love with a certain dress or venue only to bicker the entire way home about whether or not you can both afford it.
Sit down together and come up with an initial wedding budget. Once you have a basic budget in the works, do some more research to get a better sense of what things are going to cost in your area. You may need to go back and adjust your wedding budget based on what you find.
Differing opinions on money often lead to some of the biggest fights in a relationship–wedding-related or otherwise. By getting on the same page with your budget right from the beginning, you can avoid this common pre-wedding argument.
Be Specific with Your Wedding Checklist
Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, and this is especially true when it comes to divvying up wedding duties. If you have a specific vision in mind for the groomsmen attire, it’s important that you share your expectations in excruciating detail with your groom.
Create a list of wedding tasks and make it clear from the very beginning who is in charge of what. This can’t be stressed enough: Be as specific as possible.
For example, once you’ve both agreed upon a certain formalwear style for him and his groomsmen, let him know when he should buy his wedding day attire and when to schedule suit alterations. The clearer you are about the who, what, when and where, the more likely you’ll be to end up with a final result that you both will love.
Run Errands Together
Running errands alone usually feels like a huge chore. But have you ever noticed that running errands with your partner often feels entirely different?
Tackling wedding-related errands together can be a fun experience that makes both of you feel accomplished and valued at the end of the day. He can help you find the perfect bridesmaid gift for your squad, while you give him some much-needed fashion advice as he chooses formalwear accessories for his best guys.
Plus, it’s a good opportunity for the groom to be more hands-on in the wedding process. If you’ve taken the reins so far with wedding planning, now is a good time to let him make some big decisions (with your approval, of course).
Don’t Put Things Off Until the Last Minute
If your spouse gets incredibly anxious at the thought of being late or missing a deadline, try your best to avoid putting them in this position. Not only is this type of situation incredibly stressful for them, it can also lead to massive regret on both your parts in terms of missed opportunities.
Putting wedding tasks off to the last minute can mean losing out on your dream dress, venue or preferred photographer. Not only that, but you may find yourself paying a lot more for last-minute arrangements.
Don’t rely on the hope that things will just work themselves out in the end. By getting things done on schedule and according to plan, you’ll save countless arguments with your soon-to-be spouse.
Make Time for Stress-Relieving Activities
Between obligations at work and planning your big day, the mounting pressure and stress can slowly build up until we’re feeling completely overwhelmed. To keep you and your partner from reaching this point, try making time for non-wedding related tasks of the stress-relieving variety.
Getting outside for a jog, taking a painting class, going rock climbing or even trying your hand at archery can be a relaxing way to overcome the stress of wedding planning as a couple. Be open to trying different stress-relieving activities and use them as a way to connect with your partner outside of the near-constant wedding planning.
Turn it into a Friendly Competition
If you and your fiancé are always up for a friendly competition, consider turning some of your wedding tasks into a game. For instance, if you’re making DIY wedding reception decorations, you might challenge each other to see who can make the best DIY table number or glass mason jar candle holder. The loser has to pick up the winner’s favorite pint of ice cream or let them choose the next movie.
Unless you’re the most Zen person on the planet, there will always be some small amount of stress that comes with planning a wedding. While you can’t take all the stress out of your big day, you and your partner can manage it by treating yourselves regularly.
If you finally secured a wedding venue after considering eight different options, treat yourself to a couple’s massage. Did you just officially send out all the wedding invites? Celebrate together by grabbing a drink at your favourite bar. When it comes to wedding planning, no achievement is too big or too small!
Planning a Stress-Free Wedding You’ll Both Enjoy
Everyone knows that wedding planning can be daunting. But contrary to popular belief, planning your nuptials shouldn’t be so stressful that you and your fiancé are completely miserable during the process.
If you want to eliminate as much stress out of wedding planning as possible, let go of the notion that every last detail must be perfect. Once you do that, you’ll have a much easier time remembering why you’re doing all this in the first place: To celebrate being with the one you love beyond words.
Author Bio: Jane Davenport is the head marketing manager for The Dessy Group. They are a leading manufacturer of bridesmaid dresses, social occasion, flower girls and destination wedding gowns. Jane oversee all of the marketing operations with her team at the Dessy HQ in Manhattan. When she’s not working and writing wedding articles, you can find her at Soul Cycle or checking out the coolest plant-based restaurants in the city.