Relationships aren’t easy. In fact, some relationships are so volatile that they don’t last beyond the beginning. When you meet someone and you fall in love, you never imagine that you’re going to be anything less than ecstatically happy. You get engaged to your love, and you don’t picture much beyond the white dress and the flowers and the colour scheme for the reception. You start planning a wedding, and it’s then that you realise you may not know this person you’ve had in your life for some time.
Beyond the initial things that people worry about in a relationship – such as who took out the bins and whether your partner won’t like the way that you look naked – there are other things, bigger questions that need to be answered before you seal the deal with rings and vows and potentially make a big mistake that you cannot undo. You may not imagine there would ever be a time that you would want to call in the family law solicitors to oversee a divorce, but it does happen to over half of all marriages. So, knowing the tough questions to et the answers to is probably the best thing that you could do for your relationship. That way, you are free and clear to enjoy your lives together while knowing exactly where each of you stand. Here are three of those questions:
“Will you love me, even when my body changes?”
Age, pregnancy, injury. The three things that can change the way that your body looks and responds to life. Pregnancy makes a body that was once taut and gym-honed a little softer around the edges, which can worry a woman. Women are already pressed upon by societal beauty expectations, and she will need to know that the man she chooses to spend her life with wants her for more than just those toned abs. Male bodies change, too, with greying hair and wrinkles and slightly softer tummies. Accepting that the person you’re marrying will one day be someone who is aging is important.
“Can we talk about getting a prenup?”
Asking about a prenup is usually a worrisome question. The person that you are asking could feel like you’re anticipating a divorce, and what’s the point in walking up the aisle if there is only failure on their mind? On the other hand, a prenup being signed can also be rather romantic, because it means that this piece of paper doesn’t matter: you’re committed.
“How many children should we have?”
This is ideally a question that you have before you become engaged, but it should definitely be a conversation that you have before you say your vows. Imagine if you hadn’t had the conversation and you had already organised the entire wedding before finding out that your spouse doesn’t want children – at all. It’s hard, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that kind of uncertainty. Ask this question early and save yourself a lot of heartache if your stars aren’t aligned.
If you plan to marry someone and create a family with them, these questions could determine your future outcome. Ask early and save yourself some heartache.