These days, there isn’t really that big of a transition between being married and being a long-term couple. You probably live together nonetheless, may even have children, and share the responsibility of taking care of finances and household chores. So why would there be anything you should talk about before you actually get married?
While a lot of people live together like married people without being married, saying your ‘I dos’ tend to bring on a new phase of your life. You might want to plan the future in a bit more detail now, thinking about having kids and setting the foundation for a future you can have together.
If you are about to start this new phase, you should have a look at the tips below. That way, you can enter it with a bit more confidence and be able to look even more forward to your future together.
#1 What’s your parenting style?
Hopefully, you have met each other’s parents by now and should have a decent insight into how they were raised and what kind of relationship they have with their parents. These things are important in terms of understanding what kind of parent your partner is going to be like – and whether or not you have the same kind of values.
This is particularly true as the world continues to get smaller, so to speak, and couples from different cultures team up. How you choose to raise your children and how you discipline them should be something you talk about long before you have children; that way, you won’t get any nasty surprises when the toddler throws a tantrum.
#2 What are your goals and values?
Dating means that we try to get to know each other the best we can and, if we’re successful, choose to stay together. You will get a decent insight to your partner’s goals and values during this time, though, but you should still talk about these things so that you’re both able to work together in the same direction.
If your partner values tradition, it would probably be best to look at diamond rings before proposing, for example, rather than proposing without a ring. A lot of people wouldn’t mind getting engaged without a ring and many wouldn’t even value a big wedding that much; if your partner does value this, however, you need to know about it before popping the question.
Getting to know each other through and through means that you have talked about these things and know what your partner expects.
#3 How should we budget?
Finally, there is no bigger threat to your home’s peace and quiet than an argument about money. Make sure that you’re both on the same terms when it comes to finances and talk about keeping it separate if that’s something you prefer.
Even the most different people can work well as a couple as long as they’re able to talk about their differences and put all their cards on the table. Get these conversations over with long before the big day, however, and you can feel a bit more confident.