What Does It Take To Feel Confident In Your Own Skin?
This post is written in collaboration with online dating site We Love Dates; they are currently promoting their #WeLoveReal campaign, spreading the message about being real online and learning to love yourself for who you are.
As part of this campaign, We Love Dates have challenged me to talk about what I love about myself. (They also sent me a lovely hamper packed full of feel-good, confidence-boosting goodies!)
What does it feel like not to be confident in your own skin?
Let me start by saying that I am someone who has never really loved myself for who I am. I’m the girl that has always wanted to be slimmer, prettier, bolder, braver, and most importantly, more confident.
You wouldn’t think it but when I was at school, I was a quiet little mouse; I hated being the centre of attention and would actively dread being spoken to because I was *that* shy. I remember once, a girl from my year joined the coffee house that I worked in as a new waitress, and she said she was astounded to hear me talk because apparently at school, she had never once heard me utter a word. That’s how I shy I was at school.
My shyness stemmed from not feeling good enough because while most of the other girls were a size 6-8, I was a size 10. I always felt like I was extremely overweight, when looking back I now realise that wasn’t the case.
How can you boost your confidence?
Today, I’m a far more confident person than I once was, and that confidence came from – major cliche I know – stepping outside of my comfort zone. When I left home to go to university, I began mixing with lots of new people and I was able to start afresh, reinventing myself as whatever I wanted to be. I chose to be more confident, and funnily enough, it worked.
When it comes to boosting confidence, it’s not always easy. For me, I think it was living in a house with two other girls who were similar in size to me, and seeing how confident and content they were with how they looked, that really helped me to learn to love my body for what it is.
When it comes to increasing how confident your feel in your own skin, it’s a rather personal journey – what works for one person may not work for another. However, below are a few suggestions that I have found rather helpful in the past:
- Write a list of all the qualities that you like about yourself
- Utilise a gratitude journal
- Stop comparing yourself
- Take self-care seriously
The thing to remember when it comes to confidence is that we’re all unique, and what makes us special is that uniqueness. Don’t feel ashamed of your differences, be proud of them!
A lot of the time, we assume that we should feel bad about the features that we don’t love about ourselves or that don’t fit the stereotype of what’s beautiful, but we shouldn’t do – we should celebrate them.