One of the hardest things that divorced parents go through after the break up of a marriage is deciding when’s the right time to try again. Falling in love a second, or even third time around isn’t impossible but when you’ve got children, trust issues or have been out of the dating game a while the path to true love can get decidedly rocky.
Are You Really Ready?
If you spend most of your Friday nights on the sofa with a glass of wine, popcorn and endless Friends reruns then it’s probably safe to say you’re not seeing anyone. Don’t let friends, family or even your children pressure you into going out on dates. If you’re feeling sad, confused or scared you may need more time. However, if the idea of meeting someone new fills you with excitement, butterflies and joy then it’s time to get back out there.
Take Profiles With A Pinch Of Salt
It might be a few years since your divorce came through but since then online dating has become incredibly mainstream. Be aware that around 20 percent of adults tend to lie in their profiles, use old photos or don’t reply to messages honestly. However, most people, especially divorcees, are fairly genuine about finding a new partner. You can always do a quick web search, check out their social media pages, including Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram before deciding if you’d like to get to know them better. Lots of companies are dedicated to providing subscription services to those interested in over 60 dating, while many offer a trial period so don’t feel you have to stick with just one site.
Dates Don’t Need To Meet Your Kids
There’s absolutely no need for your children to meet all or even eighty percent of your dates unless things between you get serious. A good sign that it may be time to introduce your new partner is if the relationship has lasted more than six months, but even so go easy on having your kids and them spend time together. If your children are still young, or you have a friendly relationship with your ex-husband or wife, then a courtesy phone call or email to say you’ve met someone is polite but by no means is it necessary.
Have Fun Without Expectations
The chances are is that most of your dates won’t set your world on fire, or cause you to even feel fireworks but that’s ok. If you don’t feel that spark of chemistry straight away give it time, don’t dismiss someone that you aren’t attracted to instantly as it could be simply that this particular relationship is a slow burner. On the other hand, if you’ve been on a few dates and it doesn’t feel like the two of you are getting any closer then it’s probably best to cut your losses there and then.
Ghosting Isn’t Cool
You may not feel the same connection to Alex as you do with James but it’s important that you still reply to his texts, or calls and let him know in a calm, polite manner that you aren’t interested. ‘Ghosting’ or ignoring someone until they go away isn’t respectful, and you never know when you might run into them in future.